Starting January 1 2012 I plan to take control of "The Labyrinth". I have recently turned 25 and come to realize I don't know as much as I think I do, I haven't been to places I would like to go and I haven't become the person I thought I would. I am positive none of this will change with out some sort of conscious effort.
My life is a mess, it always has been. I won't bore you with the details, but I will admit that the mess is entirely my own fault. I've created a labyrinth so complicated it boggles my mind; I have become so lost in it. In the new year I plan to venture through life with more intention, less haphazard decisions made on the fly. I will plan ahead and be prepared, I will set goals and more importantly achieve them.
Starting with better physical health; I am by no stretch of the imagination over weight, not even a little. I do how ever have horrible, deplorable really, cardiovascular health. I can not walk up my stairs with a full laundry basket with out being out of breath. I took my dog (Meet Piston) for a jog not too long ago so we could sleep. He was being particularly annoying at 11:00 pm that night with his boundless energy. The jog lasted only 7 minutes and I was entirely winded by the end of it. Coughing, wheezing and side splitting pains. He however was fine, not even a rise in his heart rate. This is when I realized that I'm incredibly out of shape. Piston is 1:10 my size and has to work 10x harder at simple things like walking, jogging, going up stairs and getting into bed, but yet can out run me. With that being said my fitness goals are to increase my cardiovascular health and build a little bit of muscle.
In February I start classes at CTS: Canada Career College for Office Administration and I am so excited it is unbelievable. I dropped out of high school for a year after grade 11 then went back and did most of my first semester of grade 12 before dropping out again. So to be going back to school again is scary to say the least but I am so glad I am going it. I also must admit I am a little bit proud of myself for doing it.
I have decided for 2012 to keep my goals simple:
Get into better physical shape
Graduate from college.
Stick to a strict budget
Of course there are other things I would like to see happen, but I am not going to be determined to see them through. I would like to finally move in with my boyfriend but that is a long story and it will happen when the mess involving his fathers estate gets settled. So with that being out of my control I can't really set a goal for it. I also wouldn't mind getting officially engaged, although we ale ready know we will be married some day. I'm in no rush for this one, if it doesn't happen in 2012 I'm not concerned. Getting pregnant wouldn't be a horrible thing either, but I would like to get my body into a stronger state and finish college, and secure a good job, getting pregnant isn't at the top of my list. 2012 is full of opportunities and I am excited to see what it has in store but like most years passed I imagine it wont go entirely as planned or very smoothly. Keeping things simple is what's going to help me through with as much control as possible.
'Um, okay. So what is it?'
'Suffering,' she said. 'Doing wrong and having wrong things happen to you. That's the problem. Bolivar was talking about the pain, not about the living or dying. How do you get out of the labyrinth of suffering?...Nothing's wrong. But there's always suffering, Pudge. Homework or malaria or having a boyfriend who lives far away when there's a good-looking boy lying next to you. Suffering is universal. It'st the one thing Buddhists, Christians, and Muslims are all worried about.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska
“He- that's Simon Bolivar - 'was shaken by the overwhelming revelation that the headlong race between his misfortunes and his dreams was at that moment reaching the finish line. The rest was darkness. Damn it,' he sighed. 'How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!''
So what's the labyrinth?' I asked her...
That's the mystery, isn't it? Is the labyrinth living or dying? Which is he trying to escape- the world or the end of it?”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska
